Dining alone: thoughts and tips.

In general, I am someone who values some alone time every so often, as I am constantly around others, I enjoy having some time to just relax and unwind. Since starting university, I have had many opportunities to explore and being a massive ‘foodie,’ I like to find new places to eat and new things to try. Therefore, I have since had my first experience of dining alone (and many more since – I have actually started doing it every Thursday between classes). It was quite strange the first time, because you’re kind of made to assume that people who eat alone are odd, or whatever.

I understand that many people may not feel very comfortable with the thought of going out to eat alone, so I thought I would compile a list of useful tips, which may be somewhat useful for people who are anxious/uncomfortable with ‘dining solo’, or even those who do it regularly.

1. One of the main things that I have learned is that nobody cares, really, the only person that tends to care that you are dining alone is you! Think about it, if you were, for example, out with friends, or going shopping, how often do you actually think about those who are there alone? Not very often, I’d bet? Even if you do notice, it is often a fleeting thought, or glance, then you get on with your day. So if you don’t dwell on it when you see someone alone, why should that be any different when you’re alone? I think that it might be more prominent in your mind because we are the centre of our own world, thus, don’t consider that someone else is primarily concerned with what they themselves are doing/who they’re talking to, etc, and not us, which is definitely a win if you’re anxious about eating alone.

2. People-watching – This point relates to the first, but people watching can be great fun! I like to create a whole backstory for people and try to figure out what they’re up to, where they’re going, etc. Honestly, I could amuse myself for hours!

3. Be comfortable. This refers to both in yourself and in the environment. Be comfortable enough in yourself that even if/when someone happens to glance your way, not to feel like you’re doing something you shouldn’t be, and just shrug it off and perhaps even give them a smile – which would definitely give off the “yes, I’m quite happy being here, alone or otherwise.” Anyway, as far as anyone else knows, you’re waiting on someone to come out the bathroom or have simply arrived a bit too early. But yeah, OWN IT! As for the second part of this point, being in a place where you can get comfortable, has a nice atmosphere and makes you feel happy is definitely a bonus.

4. Get some work done – this type of situation provides an ideal opportunity to be productive and do the things that maybe you’ve been putting off, or just haven’t got round to it yet. You’re in a place with lighting, food and drinks and a table. Don’t be afraid to whip out the laptop/tablet/pen and paper, to get something done. You’ll most likely to feel so much better and it’s one less thing for you to stress about. If they have free wi-fi, brilliant, if not, be prepared and download an offline copy of the thing you want to finish.

5. Choose the restaurant in advance – If you’re already anxious about dining alone, then choosing somewhere to eat would only add another daunting task to an already intimidating activity. It also helps to plan how you’re going to get there, thus, minimising the chances of you getting overwhelmed with finding the right place and just going home – promising yourself that you’ll do it next time, and probably making a thousand excuses and reasons not to try it at all.

6. On top of choosing the restaurant in advance, it can also be helpful to study the menu beforehand, so that you have some kind of idea about the types of food they offer, and what you are interested in trying. You could even narrow it down to your top 2 or 3. This is useful for everyone, I think, whether you’re new to dining alone or have been doing it for a while. With the rise in people using the internet, most establishments enable you to download/browse the menu on their website. This also helps if, for example, there are a few people already there, which may lead to you focusing more on them than on the menu, and ending up with something that you don’t really want – which could ultimately result in a negative dining experience. So yeah, it’s always useful to have a look at the menu beforehand.

7. Promise yourself a small reward, for example; a quite night at home watching a film, a tub of ice-cream, whatever you like. It can be your motivation to do it and also your reward for overcoming your anxieties over eating alone, particularly if it’s something that you’ve been wanting to do but have felt quite intimidated by it. It’s also nice to know that you’re going home for some self-care and pampering.

8. Bring something to distract you – everyone can experience nervousness when dining alone, whether that be when you’re waiting for your food to arrive or when you’re waiting to pay, etc. You may become restless and just fidget with anything in sight, which is why it’s a good idea to bring something like; a book, magazine, phone, tablet, something that can distract you for a little while, until you gather your bearings and become comfortable.

That’s all I can think of for now, I hope that this post can be of some help to you.

Let me know if you have any other tips or tricks for dining alone, I would be interested in hearing them!

Speak soon,

-Simply-me.

xx